Trick or Treat
by poxelda
Summary: It's Halloween and here is this years treat-or is it a trick? If you make it through to the end, there is a treat for you. Warning for mild swearing and heebie-jeebies.


Mac dropped his head to the Jeep's steering wheel as he pulled into his driveway. He let out a long sigh followed by a groan. He was exhausted and sore. After the team had gone on two meetings, his father had dragged him halfway around the world on a solo mission at an energy conference. His way of father/ son time. Mac rubbed his eyes and squinted at his watch. If the blurry numbers were right, it was officially Halloween. Mac felt a stone sink in his gut. He felt the same cobwebs of memory. Mac shook his head.

His father had tried for the last 42 hours to talk about Mom and what he thought were 'the good ol' days'. Mac gritted his teeth. He had been relieved when the terrorists had barged in. Mac chuckled as he dragged his carcass out of the jeep. A perfect summary of their relationship-all pain until the bullets fly. Mac grunted as he pulled his overnight bag from the back of the vehicle. His shoulder and side hurt like hell. His dad had been so caught up in after action details, Mac had escaped soon enough to have a plane ride home by himself. He didn't even bother entering the Phoenix building deciding he could get checked out later-if he had to (which of course he wouldn't).

Mac yawned as he keyed open the door. The house was dark except a lamp left on in the living room. A note sat on the table held by the corner by a giant jar full of candy. Mac snickered. As usual he had been put in charge of the candy run. If left to Bozer, they'd be giving out empty foil wrappers. To keep Bozer from turning into a diabetic, Mac had announced he was starting a new tradition. Hard candy only. Hard sugar-free candy only. It looked like only a handful were missing. Mac would unveil the real candy he'd stashed in his secret second cupboard over the fridge when the beggars came out later- tonight?

Mac stood up and gathered his go-bag as he read the short letter. Boze was at Leanna's and Jack would be by first thing in the morning. Mac shook his head. Same ol'-same ol' as Jack would say. Mac cried out and jumped back as a giant black form dropped from the ceiling with a scream. Mac held his hand over his belly gasping. The giant furry spider Bozer had bought last year swung. Mac fought the urge to grab the broom and stomp it. It was so much more fun when it got Bozer. Mac rubbed his face. He had to admit that was kinda funny. Maybe he'd appreciate it more when he actually woke up.

Mac slid out of his shoes. Tossed his leather bag across the room and curled into a ball under the covers. He was asleep before he thought…

A pipe cleaner tickled his ear. Mac laughed and swatted it away.

" 've me'lone." He grumbled. Another one reached across his chin and cheek. Mac swatted it.

" 'nuff, Jack-" Mac slitted his eyes and frowned. It was still dark and he didn't see any evidence of Jack. He grunted and closed his eyes. He felt a slight tickle up his scalp. Mac jerked his head and it was gone. Must be a blanket or pillow. Mac grunted and drifted off again.

Jack sat in the Shelby munching on a donut. He brushed the white powder off his black jeans leaving a grey streak. He shook his hands and glanced at his watch. About 7:00. The sun was just peaking over the horizon. Jack couldn't explain it. He travelled around the world and through more time zones than he could name, but when he returned home during daylight savings time it really screwed up his interior clock. Jack chalked it up to California. If they were in Texas, well-

Jack's train of thought was derailed by Bozer pulling his blue sedan in beside the Shelby. Jack got out.

"Jack, what are you doing out here? Lose your key?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"No, Bozer, I did not lose my key. I am giving Mac a few hours sleep before we force him to be cheerful."

"Force him? Wait until you see what I have planned for breakfast!" Bozer grinned tilting his head. Jack helped him carry in the groceries.

"I'm surprised you haven't barged in here to make sure he's alive." Boze said. He grinned at the deployed spider, "Yes, got him!"

"I wasn't worried. I trust Mac to take care of himself." Boze stared at Jack over the edge of the brown paper bag. After a second, he grinned.

"You snuck in earlier." Jack laughed and poked Mr. Bones. This year the skeleton was wearing the hat Jack had taken from the terrorist in Paris. Mac and Jack both had tortured Bozer until he agreed to a ritual burning of his Washington mask. Jack shuddered. He still couldn't look at a dollar bill without a bad taste in his mouth. Jack sighed.

"Fine, yes, I snuck in earlier. I just wanted to make sure he didn't die from a heart attack from this-thing." Jack waved at the dangling spider. Bozer laughed.

"Sure, Jack. Whatever you say. Why don't you wake Mac up while I get started on our stuffed banana nut and caramel French toast." Jack stopped and licked his lips.

"Boze, you are beautiful when you cook."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." The men laughed as Jack strode toward Mac's room. Jack stopped at the doorway to laugh at the familiar sight of his partner under a pile of blankets with a wild brush of blonde hair poking out. Mac snored loudly dripping drool.

"Maaaac. Maaaac." Jack crooned. He started from the door giving the younger man a chance to start waking up. Jack knew both of them often woke up mentally in a battlefield ready to kill upon waking. Well, Jack more than Mac-about the killing thing.

"Mac. Yo Mac, wakey, wakey!" He heard a grunt under the covers and a grumble even he couldn't translate. Jack laughed and stepped closer.

"C'mon, buddy, you're burning daylight and Boze has some yummy treats cooking." Mac growled. Jack moved to pull the blanket back when he saw something move over the hump of Mac's hip.

"Um-Mac?" As he watched the bump paused then slowly crept to Mac's thigh where it stopped. It had a bulbous height of a baseball with lower levels. It crossed Jack's mind this might be a trick Mac was playing with him, but if it was-it was scary good.

"Mac!" Jack cried taking a step closer. Mac pulled the covers down and glared up at Jack. Jack's eyes widened. The bump scuttled up Mac's hip then behind the kid.

"Jack! What the hell-"

"Mac, stop." Jack said his hands held out as if he were calming down a horse. Mac blinked at him blearily.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to panic-or move, ok?" Mac's eyes widened and he held up his hands. His eyes moved down his bed. He didn't see-

Mac felt a tiny movement along the wrinkled back of his shirt. He looked at Jack panic in his eyes.

"What is it?" Mac whispered.

"I don't know. It's big." Jack whispered back.

"How big?"

"About plate sized."

"Dinner plate or saucer?"

"Saucers are bowls aren't they?"

"Jack!" Mac hissed. Jack opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Jack?" Jack stood frozen in horror, hypnotized as he saw the

edge of a gigantic brown, bristly leg peek out from under the covers. Jack stared as the blanket shuddered and the leg grew longer and furrier. Another soon joined it. The cover fluttered again then a head with too many eyes set in a bulbous body slowly wriggled out. Jack stepped back trying not to scream. He pointed at Mac.

"Spider! Spider!" Mac moved to jump out of bed, but froze as it slowly climbed his back onto his side. Mac bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut.

"J-J-"

"Hey guys! What's taking-HOLY SHIT!" Bozer yelped in higher registers than normally possible. He hid behind Jack and grabbed his shoulder.

"Is that a spider?" He whispered. Jack glared at him and shook him away. Bozer's interruption broke through Jack's own fear. He focused on Mac. Watching the giant mass slowly step across his partners body. He could see the angled legs move inch by inch along Mac's side. He could see Mac's muscles twitch as the giant arachnid moved along his back. Mac was pale and shaking. Jack could tell he wanted to scream and roll away from the invading presence.

"D-don't worry, Mac, we'll get that bug-"

"A-ar-arachnid." Mac whispered. He turned his head and looked down as the spider paused over his scapula and raised its front two legs exploring his arm. Mac gulped and turned his head away. The spider had to weigh close to five pounds. He fought not to arch away as he felt a leg by leg climb along his arm toward his head. NO! NO! NO!

"What kind is it? He whispered turning away as a tentative bristly foot tapped along his jaw.

"Big." Bozer whispered.

"Big? How is that a type of spider!"

"Well I don't know I don't study the things! They give me the

creeps. Why do they need all those legs anyway?" Mac's jaw clenched in frustration. He shook his head and turned away. Even that didn't free him. He could feel each heavy foot fall as the creature changed direction and crawled onto his chest. Maybe it would crawl off the bed? That would be cool. _Please Mr. Spider go down to the floor._

"Boze, you really aren't helping." Jack growled as he looked around the room trying to find something to kill the bug or arach-whatever the hell.

"Is it poisonous?" Mac asked. He flinched as the ever moving bristly appendage patted the length of his neck and Adam's apple. Mac swallowed a scream, bracing himself for a deadly bite. His body shook with the strain of not jumping for it. He ran the odds and what he knew about spiders. He came up blank. He had no idea spiders could grow that big. It felt like it was mostly legs and knees, but the bulbous body scraped along in time with the twitching legs.

"I don't know." Jack muttered, "Riley's coming over soon, we can google-" Mac let out a stifled cry through pursed lips and Mac's gut churned. His chest heaved with his fast breathing. He couldn't take much more-the cry grew in volume. The prickly hairs of each foot slid in the sweat of his neck as the spider slowly lifted itself toward his face.

"Ok, that's it. I got this." Mac scrunched his eyes shut as the sharp bristles of a heavy leg poked into his cheek bone. The body was heavy as it scraped along his jaw, prickly sandpaper. Mac jumped as he heard the familiar sound of Jack pulling his Beretta. Mac's heart pounded louder. He was honestly not sure if he felt better with the idea of Jack attempting to shoot the spider off his face or letting the spider crawl all over him in the hope it won't bite him.

"Ok, ok, everybody stay calm." Jack murmured.

"Are you kidding me? You'll shoot his fool head off."  
"Well we can't just do nothing'"

"Maybe we could just scare it away? They're more scared of us then we are of them, right?" Mac scrunched his forehead down as his hair got tangled in feet of legs.

"Are you kidding me?" Jack exploded. Mac flinched and could feel the spider's body vibrate, "Sorry, sorry." The door opened and Riley breezed in.

"Hey guys, I was- what the hell is that?" Riley cried. She shuddered and turned away, "That's...ew…" Mac felt a furry foot land in the corner of his mouth. He clenched his lips together tighter. Another paw brushed his eye lashes and scraped slowly across his eye lid.

"Jack! What the hell? You can't shoot it!" Riley cried.

"Then what the hell are we going to do, swat it maybe?" Jack said slowly easing to a tennis racket leaning against Mac's desk.

"Jack! We can't squash that monster while it's sitting on his head." Jack paused.

"I know that, Bozer. Maybe we could...you know, nudge it off him gently?" Mac could hear the whoop, whoop of Jack swinging the racket. The air brushed the arachnid and it's body shivered.

"Jack!" He yelled. He gagged as part of the giant body blocked his mouth. He felt sharp fangs brush his ear. Mac grabbed the body of the creature and rolled to his feet throwing it away from him with a yelp.

"YEARGH!" He screamed. He hopped back up on his bed and danced brushing off hundreds of imaginary spiders.

"Aiiiiiiiiiiiii!" The other screamed as they jumped back. They watched the spider land in the middle of the floor on its back.

"Kill it!" Bozer squealed.

"Jack!" Riley yelled.

"It's coming after me!" Jack squalled shoving Bozer toward the spider.

"Don't feed me to it!" Bozer squirmed wildly in Jack's hands.

"Oh my God!" Riley shouted as she strode forward and stomped the spider with her boot. The men stared at the flattened arachnid then up at Riley impressed.

"Ewwww." Riley said as she lifted her boot. Long strands of yellow and green goo stretched from the twitching corpse to the bottom of her shoe. The men leaned over the spider. It twitched and they jumped back.

"Damn, that's a big bastard." Jack said. He nudged it with his toe making sure it was truly dead. A leg wriggled. Jack yelped and stomped it, then decided to make sure. He was almost out of breath and the spider was flattened and shredded when he decided it was dead. He looked up at the others.

"What? Haven't you ever heard of the double tap?"

"That is not coming out of that carpet." Bozer sighed. Riley rolled her eyes. Men. She turned to Mac and frowned. The blond was watery and pale. Mac stared at the floor wide eyed. The spider was giant! At least a foot across. Mac felt sick and dizzy.

"Mac? You ok? You don't look so good." Mac gave a wan smile and jumped down to the floor. He nodded, but stared at the arachnid corpse. Riley and Jack shared a worried look. His breathing was still fast and his body shivered.

"Boze, why don't you go get stuff to clean that up and finish up break-"

"My toast!" Bozer yelled as he dashed from the room. Jack chuckled.

"Yeah, that." Jack stepped over the dead spider and crossed to Mac's side. Mac's pupils were huge and the kid had a shell-shocked expression. Jack took him by the elbow.

"Mac? Come on and sit down, you aren't looking so good." Mac blinked at Jack and shoved past him running to the bathroom. Jack and Riley shared a worried look.

"You go call Doc Carl."

"I'll go call Doc Carl." The pair said in unison.

Mac slumped against the toilet. He shivered still feeling the spider slide across his face. Mac leaned in and let loose the ghost of what he ate-? He had no idea when.

"Hey, bud. You gonna live?" Mac moaned and turned enough to give Jack a one-eyed glare. Jack nodded and knelt beside his partner. He put a hand on Mac's back and Mac flinched. Jack removed his hand.

"Heya, why don't you get a shower, you know-"

"Don't, I will literally kill you." Jack grinned.

"-get the cobwebs out." Mac growled and gave Jack every ounce of glare he'd ever had. Jack held up a hand.

"I'm sorry, brother, I just couldn't-"

"Shut up. Get out." Jack nodded, his face serious.

"C'mon, Mac, let me help you up." Mac pushed up from the toilet and fell against the wall. His legs felt watery. He reached out a hand.

"Shit." Mac looked over to Jack ready to pop him one right between the eyes. He froze when he saw Jack's genuine alarm. Jack held his hand up looking at it with a worried frown. Mac followed his gaze to his own hand. He yanked it back and stared at it. Two bite marks that looked like he'd been stabbed by a fork bled along red swollen flesh. Two large yellow bubbles circled each one covering most of the blade of his right hand. He moved his fingers. It didn't hurt. If anything his hand felt tingly and a bit numb.

Jack grabbed his wrist and dragged Mac over to the sink. He scrubbed Mac's hand with soap and water. Mac groaned. Now it hurt. Jack looked over his shoulder at the blonde. Mac's cheeks were flushed, his eyes were closed and his brow wrinkled in pain. Jack turned to face Mac.

"Mac, hey? Hey?" Mac opened his eyes. He still looked dazed.

"You feel sick, still freaked out, or so tired you're about to drop?" Mac blinked.

"Uh-hum." He mumbled before his eyes rolled up and he collapsed in Jack's arms.

"RILEY!" Jack yelled as he awkwardly dragged Mac toward the living room. He didn't want to go into Mac's room and he assumed no one else did either. Mac moaned and his eyes fluttered as Jack laid him on the longer of the two couches. Riley came running her laptop in one hand, her phone in the other. She slapped down her rig and opened the lid. A worried Doc Carl studied Mac for a long second.

"BOZER!" Jack yelled. Mac moaned and tilted his head. Bozer came running in carrying the suitcase sized first aid kit they always kept in the house. Jack dug into it. He took Mac's temp, B/P and relayed it. He pulled out a stethoscope and listened.

"Lungs are clear and his heart rate is a bit fast and occasionally irregular." Riley looked down at Jack impressed. Someone was becoming almost a nurse himself. Jack shot her a quick glare then listened to Doc Carl.

"Ok, I looked at the pictures Riley sent. I believe this is a Huntsman."

"Are they poisonous?" Jack's voice raised with his worry.

"Not really-"

"Really?"

"Unless Mac has an allergic reaction, we just have to monitor his symptoms and ice his hand."

"What symptoms?" Bozer asked pushing in closer so Doc Carl could see him.

"Nausea, vomiting, inflammation, headache and his hand is going to hurt like hell for quite awhile. If he wasn't so exhausted to start with he probably wouldn't have even passed out." The team all let out a long breath. Doc Carl told them how to help Mac and promised to get a team to check the rest of the house for spiders, giant or otherwise.

Half an hour later Mac came around. He groaned. His eyes fluttered and he woke up wincing as he moved his hand. He blinked the others into focus.

"Wha-SPIDER!" Mac shoved past Jack and stood up desperately brushing at his clothes. He stopped and bit his lip folding over his right hand with a cry of pain. "OW! OW! OW!" Jack chuckled as he crossed to Mac's side and took his elbow guiding him back to the couch. Mac sat down and leaned over holding his bandaged hand.

"Damn it! That seriously hurts." Mac said looking up at Jack his eyes bright with tears of pain.

"I'm not surprised. Here we were just changing the ice pack." Mac held out his hand and winced as Jack eased an ice pack around his hand. Mac leaned back taking deep breaths. Jack let him rest a minute as he checked him over again. It was a sign of how much Mac was hurting when he didn't protest or comment. After five minutes Mac sighed and tension left his body.

"Ice pack kicking in?" Jack said. Mac offered a wan smile. Jack nodded, "Well, to continue helping…" Jack opened a bottle and rolled out two giant white pills. Mac closed his eyes and groaned. Jack handed him the pills. Mac shot Jack a low watt glare and took them. He slumped back eyes closed.

"How do you feel?" Riley asked as she and Bozer came into the living room. Bozer put down a tray of hot cocoa and cookies.

"Thought you might need something to take those pills with." Mac smiled.

"Thanks, Boze, but my gut…" Mac closed his eyes a long minute. The others tensed ready to help in the race to the bathroom. Mac took a few deep breaths. "Sorry, Boze."

"No problem, Mac. We were wondering what you wanted to do tonight?" Mac blinked at him confused.

"Tonight?"

"The annual Ho-"

"Halloween party, right." Mac laid back his eyes drooping.

"You guys can do what you want...I just want to sleep," Mac remembered what was smeared into his bedroom's carpet.

"Somewhere else." He grumbled. The others chuckled. Mac sighed and slowly moved to stand up. Jack was at his side instantly.

"Gonna be sick?"

"Need a shower to-" Mac glared at Jack. Jack nodded not even tempted to joke.

"I got it, brother. How about I take you home and you can clean up and sleep there." Mac's eyes were huge with relief and gratitude.

"That'd be awesome. Thanks...everybody." Mac said with his first genuine smile.

"That's ok, buddy." Riley said kissing Mac's forehead. Mac smiled at her.

"Man! That sucks! We got all the costumes and everything."

"Oh, what was the theme this year?" Bozer turned and waved his hand as if he were reading off a theater marquis.

"The Avengers. I was going as Black Panther, of course. Leanna was going to be Valkyrie."

"I was going to be Black Widow. Sorry." Riley winced as Mac turned his head away in pain. Mac managed a nod. His throat bobbed. The others paused waiting. Mac eventually looked up and let out a breath. The others followed.

"That's ok. She's cool."

"And sexy as hell." Jack gushed. He looked up at Riley and frowned, "That's awkward." The others laughed.

"And Jack?"

"Captain America, of course." Jack straightened his shoulders and tilted his chin.

"Just older and fuzzier." Bozer said. Jack narrowed his eyes. Bozer held up his hands in surrender.

"Matty was all set to be Thor."

"Thor!" Mac laughed as he pictured the small woman in Thor's outfit carrying Mjolnir. Come to think of it, it wasn't that weird when you truly thought about it. Mac nodded.

"And me? Iron Man, I assume?" The others shot glances at each other. Mac frowned, "Not Hawkeye?"

"No, I remember you doing archery in High School. We never could change that street light." Boze said with a fond look in his eye. Mac rolled his eyes and winced.

"No way I could pull off the Hulk."

"Not unless he bleached and went on a juice cleanse from hell." Jack added.

"I was thinking Meep…" Bozer said. Mac shuddered, " Right, you are a bit over bugs, even cool ones…"

"So?" The others started laughing. Mac closed his eyes and braced himself. Now was the official start of the teasing. Mac opened his eyes with a long sigh of resignation. He braced himself.

"Well-"

"We think that seeing as you're quick on your feet-"

"And don't use guns-" They were silent, building tension.

"Just spit it out already." Taking pity on their teammate, Bozer whirled a box around and lifted the lid.

"Spiderman!" They all said together. Mac felt his skin crawl at the familiar blue and red suit. He paled. Bozer took it away and the others looked at him serious, worried if they'd gone too far. Mac offered a weak smile. He relaxed back and put his feet up. Mac yawned. The pills were kicking in. Bozer went and retrieved a pillow and blanket for Mac. Jack tucked Mac in and Riley gently brushed his wild mane of hair back. Mac sighed in content.

"It wouldn't work." Mac said softly. His voice was gaining a slight slur in his voice.

"Oh, why's that?" Jack's voice was the warm soft one he reserved for sick MacGyver.

" 'Fraid heights." He murmured. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. The team turned off most of the lights and eased away letting the kid sleep.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

So did you all make it through the ewy parts? I almost didn't. After I was done it did occur to me I didn't address how the giant spider got in his house. As the only one's I've ever seen (much smaller mind you) came from Australia, I was going to say one came back in his go bag and lived under his bed for awhile. In my head cannon, Mac never cleans under his bed. Not sure. Another possibility was Cage bringing it over the Christmas she left attached to whatever she got for Mac, maybe a didgeridoo? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story and have a great Halloween. Thank you for reading/ commenting!-Pox


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